1. “The Paradoxical Commandments
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
2. “Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you."
3. “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it,
strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the
world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the
manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state
of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must
make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness
forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
4. “People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it
was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation
attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be
happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for
their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just
don't want that responsibility.”
5. “Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are
obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose
themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see
that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of
ourselves.”
6. “Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the
over compensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so
spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour
of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a
struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt.
Happiness is never grand.”
7. “Ester asked why people are sad.
"That’s simple," says the old man.
"They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes
that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that
plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate
experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than
they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.”
8. “What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your
loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and
have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times
more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and
curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a
tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and
never have I heard anything more divine.”
9. “Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately
suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that
many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk
about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways?
What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships?
And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have
lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life
no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities.”
10. “Certainly the most destructive vice if you like, that a person can
have. More than pride, which is supposedly the number one of the
cardinal sins - is self pity. Self pity is the worst possible emotion
anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase
what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatred's a subset of
self pity and not the other way around - ' It destroys everything
around it, except itself '.
Self pity will destroy
relationships, it'll destroy anything that's good, it will fulfill all
the prophecies it makes and leave only itself. And it's so simple to
imagine that one is hard done by, and that things are unfair, and that
one is underappreciated, and that if only one had had a chance at this,
only one had had a chance at that, things would have gone better, you
would be happier if only this, that one is unlucky. All those things.
And some of them may well even be true. But, to pity oneself as a result
of them is to do oneself an enormous disservice.
I think it's
one of things we find unattractive about the american culture, a culture
which I find mostly, extremely attractive, and I like americans and I
love being in america. But, just occasionally there will be some example
of the absolutely ravening self pity that they are capable of, and you
see it in their talk shows. It's an appalling spectacle, and it's so
self destructive. I almost once wanted to publish a self help book
saying 'How To Be Happy by Stephen Fry : Guaranteed success'. And people
buy this huge book and it's all blank pages, and the first page would
just say - ' Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself - And you will be happy '.
Use the rest of the book to write down your interesting thoughts and
drawings, and that's what the book would be, and it would be true. And
it sounds like 'Oh that's so simple', because it's not simple to stop
feeling sorry for yourself, it's bloody hard. Because we do feel sorry
for ourselves, it's what Genesis is all about.”
11. “It is difficult to live in and enjoy the moment when you are thinking
about the past or worrying about the future. You cannot change your
past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about your future. Learn
from the past, plan for the future. The more you live in and enjoy the
present moment, the happier you will be.”
12. “Listen to what is being preached today. Look at everyone around us.
You've wondered why they suffer, why they seek happiness and never find
it. If any man stopped and asked himself whether he's ever held a truly
personal desire, he'd find the answer. He'd see that all his wishes, his
efforts, his dreams, his ambitions are motivated by other men. He's not
really struggling even for material wealth, but for the second-hander's
delusion - prestige. A stamp of approval, not his own. He can find no
joy in the struggle and no joy when he has succeeded. He can't say about
a single thing: 'This is what I wanted because I wanted it, not because
it made my neighbors gape at me'. Then he wonders why he's unhappy.”
13. “Exactly. How can you know it makes you happy if you’ve never experienced it?”
“There are different kinds of happy,” she said. “Some kinds don’t need any proof."
14. “Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds,
which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order
to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that
the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true
happiness and well-being."
15. “I'm going to enjoy every second, and I'm going to know I'm enjoying it
while I'm enjoying it. Most people don't live; they just race. They are
trying to reach some goal far away on the horizon, and in the heat of
the going they get so breathless and panting that they lose sight of the
beautiful, tranquil country they are passing through; and then the
first thing they know, they are old and worn out, and it doesn't make
any difference whether they've reached the goal or not.”
16. “You have a unique gift to offer this world. Be true to yourself, be
kind to yourself, read and learn about everything that interests you and
keep away from people who bring you down. When you treat yourself
kindly and respect the uniqueness of those around you, you will be
giving this world an amazing gift... YOU!”
17. “Some people appear to be happy, but they simply don't give the matter
much thought. Others make plans: I'm going to have a husband, a home,
two children, a house in the country. As long as they're busy doing
that, they're like bulls looking for the bullfighter: they react
instinctively, they blunder on, with no idea where the target is. They
get their car, sometimes they even get a Ferrari, and they think that's
the meaning of life, and they never question it. Yet their eyes betray
the sadness that even they don't know they carry in their soul. Are you
happy?”
18. “I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I
may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part
of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon
our circumstances."
19. “I think most people are just trying to be happy, and that most of their
actions, however misguided, are in line with that goal. Most people
just want to feel they belong somewhere, want to be loved, and want to
feel they're important to someone. If you really examine all the
wrongheaded and messed-up things they do, they can most often be traced
back to that basic desire. The abusers, the addicted, the cruel and
unpleasant, the manipulators --these are just people who started this
quest for happiness in the basement of their lives. Someone communicated
to them through word or deed that they were undeserving, so they think
they have to claw their way there over the backs of others, leaving
scars and creating damage. Of course, they only create more misery for
themselves and others.”
20. “Finding happiness should not be seen as finding a needle in a haystack.
Happiness is within. Each day is a blessing that brings an abundance of
happiness. Therefore, finding happiness should be like finding a gift
in a stack of gifts.”
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